Monday, December 23, 2013

December 2013?!?!

How the hell did I end up at the end of the year already. I still don't see how this happened so quick. I just can't understand time right now. I am in South Utah right now working full time at walmart and it is fun. I love my workers and employees. I have a good time. I am always just so busy that my life is work and sleep now. I have yet to do anything worth my time other now that i have my own car. Which I am scared it needs new tires already. THis is kinda of a step back but i need to save up for it now. I make a lot of money which it all just goes to bills. ick. I feel like i should be making a lot more for how much I am working and how hard I work. I need a vacation and I need a man to love me. THis will be the first year that I will not be celebrating Christmas... THis really sucks. The first year without a tree and the first year without family. It is rough. But I will not pout. I didn't get anything for christmas this year so I went and bought this laptop I am on for myself. WHich i needed and it has made me somewhat happy. You can't live these days without some kind of computer and I have been doing it for a few months since all my crap is ni my moms storage. Ick. I just want so badly for a man to love me and not just that cheap simple love I want him to look at me and want me as bad as I want him. It has been awhile that anyone has felt like that. NOw that I think about jared and aaron just about all day now because I have no life other then work and work and more work. I even have to get a third job now just to be able to buy crap I want. WHich I will sacrifice more of my life just so I can buy clothes to enternally be happy. WEll for now I am off to bed but it was nice to try to catch up on here a lil. I should come back and try to do my blog every more once in awhile. I am planning another chemical peel after christmas so I will be doing a real day by day to show the results. Unlike my bail a few months back <3 Kenners

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Compound Peel Level 2

Hey guys so I am back with another peel experience. I have gotten a new one. This one is compound peel level 2 from medical md. So far This has been a experience. I probably should have gotten level one first because this one is a strong strong peel. Probably the strongest I have ever tried. I wasnted to do a peel since my birthday is just 2 and a half weeks away. Looking fresh from a peel is always an amazing feeling. I just wanted to say. I barely lasted thirty seconds of this one. I frosted imediatally and had to run around the house with a fan at hand just to try to stay longer. But i Couldn't I threw on that baking soda in the shower and rinsed it right off. I will be deluting the solution after my birthday so that I can actually get a full on peel around the entire face without frosting. Since I have this entire bottle I will be doing them at least once a month or even twice a month so I can look pretty for christmas time. Well thats hope. I will also be trying out my derma roller after the peel is done. So every week I will be doing something to my face that hurts. Sounds crazy but I am all in for this one. I am tired of my face looking nasty and I want that perfect face. So this peel Is like none other that I have tried. It is called Compound Peel 100ml Level 2 : Pro Choice - A Fusion of Glycolic, Lactic, Salicylic, TCA, Resorcinol, and Fruit Enzymes. It doesn't say what every single ones percentage is but it def is a strong formula. It was either this or trying the pumpkin peel. Which I probably will get in 2014. Or when this one is gone. I just can't wait to see some sort of results. I also hope my frosting problem doesn't become a scarring problem which I already have enough holes in my face from acne scarring. Important Information Indications Acne, Oily Skin, Acne Scars, Blackheads, Whiteheads, , Eczema, Melasma, Rosacea, Warts, Hyperpigmentation, Fine Lines, Wrinkles, Enlarged Pores, Age Spots, Sun Spots, Seborrheic Keratosis, Hyperkeratosis, Pilaris, Actinic Keratosis, Keratosis. Ingredients Deionized Water, Isopropyl Alcohol, Trichloroacetic Acid, Lactic Acid, Salicylic Acid, Resorcinol, Glycolic Acid, Papaya Enzyme, Pumpkin Enzyme, Pineapple Enzyme, L-ascorbic Acid, Cellulose Gum, Phenoxyethanol, Caprylyl Glycol, Potassium Sorbate, Hexylene Glycol. Directions Thoroughly wash the area you are going to apply the peel too. We recommend using a pre-peel cleanser or you can use a light soap. Apply peel evenly for 2-4 minutes depending on skin sensitivity, with an appropriate applicator (pad or brush). Rinse thoroughly with cold water. You can repeat 1-2 times per week, up to 4-6 weeks. Note: Peel may be layered to enhance effectiveness.
As you can see I ordered it offline and when I got the product it was compltely broken. And was oozing out of the side. But their was half of the product left inside the flask so I just said F it and used it since I paid a good 40 bucks for this. I am trying to have amazon give me money back since it was destroyed. Here are my results Before THis was maybe a week before. I just had no photos without makeup on. I should have taken a photo before I put on the compound peel.
THis is right after I put on the peel. You can see that I frosted right at my cheeks.
Then this was maybe a few hours later once the white went away.
This is 24 hours after. I have scabbed up. I don't feel tight around the face yet. That usually happens around the third day
To be continued. I will post pictures on a daily bases of my results.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

I'm gone

I attempted to kill myself today. I passed out but ended up waking up. I can't take my life anymore. I have nothing, I am nothing, I have no one, I am in constant pain, I can't find anywhere that I belong, I can't find positive friends, I can't get a man to stay with me, I can't stop loving people, I'm lonely, people want to use me, I have no one to talk to, I use chat rooms just to talk to anyone, I dont fit into society anymore. I need to find something that I can just fall asleep forever. I need a poisoned apple. Please god. Please take my life away. I don't need it anymore. I don't have a place in this world. I don't even have a place to live. What kind of person am I? Am I even a person. I need help. I need someone to smile at me. I need someone to love me. Please someone love me. Please someone take me in their arms. Please someone just look at me. I need you. I need you to look in my eyes and hold me. Cradle me. I'm so lost. What has my life become? I beg for him to love me everyday. I miss you. You made me feel like I mattered in this world. Please. Please do it again. I need you. I don't even have family. I have no one. Blogger and Twitter are the only things I have.

I need you someone.

Friday, March 1, 2013

March?!??

Wow so much has been going on in ny life lately. Since I am back in California living with my brother.

To be continued... Something came up