My new beginning is something I have been trying to work on. This is not a instant goal. But this goal is prolonged. I have been working on change. Change is good but I have been changing for the worse so I am going to list my problems so I can review my problems. Right them down so I can see what I need to change. Somewhere that I can see all the problems so that I am able to sort them out. So here is the many problems I have with either stress or things I need to do, such as mini goals and school. So please don't read to much into this because this is somthing I need to put out their so I can have more hope to fix the problems that occur in my life.
: school anxiety has built up again, so much to read and remember in such short times, trying to balance my home life with my love life, keeping up with chores, keeping up with P90X videos, trying to please my best friends without the drama, my addiction to online shopping, my problem with always having a nap, scared to eat in front of random people, I like to binge, I have a problem with always taking pictures of usually anything, to always shave every other day, quit smoking (EEeeeKKk), encourage aaron more, keep up my perseverance and confidence, Stop letting people use me, stop thinking everyone likes me and learn to let go, slow down on partying, learn English and grammar, get rid of my belly, stop letting people walk all over me with my money, stop giving people cigarette's because 5 dollars a day for cigs is expensive, lacquer my desk before it gets ruined, stop mixing alcohol with caffeine because it makes me impulsive and do dumb shit and everything I say is lies, stop buying hollister clothes and buy more adult clothes (dressy/classy/sexy), learn to call the doctor a week before to get a refill on my prescription instead of a day before I am out, also keep trying to become a ninja in Aaron and I's apartment (old house and it shakes the whole complex when we walk, and our front door slams and shakes at least 4 apartments. LOL >_<), stop being embarrassed to wash clothes at a laundry mat or even using our laundry on cite, also putting away all the clothes after washing everything right away, stop leaving stuff out when I shower, when taking clothes off from smoking or not to not just throw them in our living room and instead put them away where they belong, when I cook to not throw everything everywhere and do the dishes right away so it does not pile up, do at least the dishes everyday so that their will always be less and not so intimidating, when I wake up I wish it was habit to stretch and make the bed but I usually just wake up smoke a stoag them jump right in the shower or eat something then get into the shower(lallygagging)
Wow this list took me forever. I would say everything I do I wish I could change. Isn't that sad or what :/
Well I will get back to here. Pretty much about future stuff that goes on in my life.
I love you
ps. Please don't take anything I said out of context. Or even make drama by the things I have said. This is how I feel what I need to do. In order to keep myself to wakeup everyday. Life is a constant battle, and I want to conquer it. Each year I turn a new age or I like level. I am at level 20 and when I get to level 21 I will learn new tricks ;) But every level gets better then the last. I am ready for my journey threw this, I have my right hand man Aaron to help me and push me through, as I do with him and we work with each other to better ourselves.
hope
[hohp] noun, verb, hoped, hop·ing.
–noun
1.
2.
a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.
3.
grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There is little or no hope of his recovery.
4.
a person or thing in which expectations are centered: The medicine was her last hope.
5.
something that is hoped for: Her forgiveness is my constant hope.
–verb (used with object)
6.
to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
7.
to believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will be satisfactory.
–verb (used without object)
—Idiom 8.
to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring.
9.
Archaic . to place trust; rely (usually followed by in ).
10.
hope against hope, to continue to hope, although the outlook does not warrant it: We are hoping against hope for a change in her condition.
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